I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
