i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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