Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
