she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
