Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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