he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
