I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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