so explain again why im purple
no
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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