saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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