A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
