dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
