oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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