i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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