She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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