is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
