He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
