Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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