I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
