Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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