Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
