I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
