My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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