NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
