That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
