you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
