Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
how does that bad decision feel?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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