Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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