***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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