those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
