U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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