If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
