I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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