So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
