she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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