Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Im part way to drunk.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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