no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
