She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I am available for nakedness
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
