Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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