Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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