i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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