He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
