Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
