i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
sarcasm needs its own font
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
