yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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