my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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