I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You are the jesus of drinking
my liver is dry heaving
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
