Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
