My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
