i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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