Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
