everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
