College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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