Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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