Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize