Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
