Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
now i know why i became what i already was.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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