Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
